Archive for the ‘Feng Shui’ Category

Excerpt from Carole’s book House Alive: Conversations with Your Home to be released in 2010. Ben bought a small attractive home while he was going through a divorce. A big challenge he was facing was his ex-wife’s demand for money.  He was already paying child support, giving her their home and furnishings, turning over most of the retirement savings, and yet she wanted more.  There were three major challenges in the money area of Ben’s new home:  a fireplace, a missing piece, and a back door.  These features metaphorically matched his current situation:  money was being burned up (by the position of the fireplace); money was” missing” (mirrored by the missing area of the house); and the money that he did earn had a direct path out (through the back door).  As we discussed the reality of his home, Ben was discouraged and angry that he had walked into a scenario that echoed the situation around his failing marriage—-money challenges.  He was furious with himself at how much he had given to his ex-wife and wondered why he hadn’t taken a stand for his own needs and demands.  It was her idea to get a divorce, after all.  Ben was exasperated by the fact that he runs out of money before his next paycheck, despite the fact that he is one of the highest paid employees at his company.  Certainly the help of a therpaist provided insights to his beliefs.  And a Feng Shui consultation added more information and ideas.  It is my experience that living in a space which requires you to pay attention to a compromised area is the best way to learn about that issue.  As you make Feng Shui adjustments in the afflicted area, you see them as symbols for what needs to be changed.  As he hung a mirror over his fireplace, Ben learned to say “no” to his kids and to his ex-wife.  As he planted a lush and healthy plant in the missing money area outside the house, he saw that as a metaphor for committing to his budget no matter what.   Hanging a windchime by his backdoor in the money area was a continual alarm clock to remind him about re-building his own next egg.  For the first time, he watched his patterns and his emotions and was able to forecast when he might let down his financial boundaries and fall into a vulnerable spending spree.  He came to appreciate his money and treated it with respect.  Ben realized that his house, bought in a split second of despair, had provided him “opportunities”  to turn his issue around.  It was the steady presence of this little home, without judgment or impatience, that enabled him to dig deep and find some answers—and change a life-long pattern. As Ben saw it, the challenged money area in his house became an asset to him.

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Lessons From a House

The main goal in implementing Feng Shui is to create a space that supports and honors the occupants.  It should be a place that reflects the convictions and interests of those who spend the most time within its walls.  This is why, after determining favorable directions, command corners, general orientation, and then arriving at the appropriate suggestion for their specific issue, a Feng Shui consultant should ask their client a critical question:  Does this adjustment reflect who you are?  Are you comfortable with it?  Will it uplift you?  Hanging something, painting something, closing off or opening up something—-none of this will work if the client simply doesn’t like the look or feel of the proposed adjustment. Over the years, I’ve heard my husband, who played college basketball, use the term home-court advantage.  His alma mater may have unexpectedly lost a game while playing out of state and he chalks it up to home-court advantage.  I didn’t understand why it would matter where the game was being played.  Don’t they concentrate on the maneuvers and intricacies of playing good basketball and forget about their surroundings?  Isn’t all their attention placed on playing a good game?  Evidently not. As he pointed out one night when his team was on a winning streak, the crowds were carrying them to victory.  It was obvious there wasn’t a very big contingency from the visiting side evidenced by the weak applause when they scored some points.  But when the home team made a basket or retrieved the ball, the decibel level was noticeably higher.  It seemed to me neither team was paying any attention to the noise, instead concentrating on their game.  My husband assured me that was not the case;  despite their apparent disregard, the cheering and yelling was making all the difference in the outcome of the game. Watching the Olympics brings up the same phenomenon.  It’s a known fact that the hosting country typically gets more medals than normal.  Are their athletes better? Do they train more than usual?  I doubt it. It’s just that they have a huge crowd cheering them on, offering high fives, hand shakes, and hugs.  It’s not that thte other athletes don’t have people rooting for them, but obviously more local people are able to attend, swelling the crowds with their specific national pride. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had that kind of home-court advantage in your life?  Like a basketball player or an Olympian, you can also be the recipient of applause and cheering, even for the smallest victories.   By surrounding yourself with physical reminders of who you really are and who you really can be,  you will be encouraged with a continual message of inspiration and accomplishment.  Make sure that what you bring into your space is something you love and it uplifts you.  Then, each day could be an opportunity to make that winning score or to break your own track record.  Who knows—-there may be a gold medal in it for you.

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Home-Court Advantage: Olympic Feng Shui

This weekend marks the final move into the year of the Tiger.  Unlike their western counterparts, the Chinese have a solar new year as well as a lunar new year.  The solar date always occurs on February 4th.  The lunar new year changes according to the movement of the moon; this year it is on Valentine’s Day, February 14th.  For those who set a New Year’s resolution on January 1st based on the western calendar, here is one last opportunity to re-commit if your resolve hasn’t been all that strong. The Chinese system pays particular attention to the animal connected to each year.  There are twelve possibilities:  rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig.  It’s important to understand not only the basic nature of the animal of that year, but also who their animal buddies are as well as their animal enemies on this line-up. The Tiger year causes the most apprehension of all the animals.  In fact, it was a tradition for the Chinese to avoid having children during a Tiger year, because Tiger kids are fearless, independent, and ferocious at times.  Sometimes they would roar, sometimes they would purr.  This kind of erratic and polarized activity describes a Tiger year in general.  Some people are going to find this to be the positively best year ever; others will be saying the opposite—it’s the worst year they can remember.  In order to know how you relate to the Tiger year, you need to know what animal was ruling the year you were born.  A quick internet search will help you determine your animal year. Some animals are going to be affected the most by the Tiger’s influence.  The Pig is the Tiger’s best friend so the Tiger will be sure to bless his little friend and keep him safe.  The Dog and Horse will also be enjoying some positive moments.  The Monkey, however, will be the most challenged by the Tiger, followed closely by the Snake.  Both of them will benefit from finding an ally.  In this case, it pays to call on the Tiger’s buddy Mr. Pig.  Some of the sweet, gentle energy of the Pig will help soften the Tiger’s intensity. So for those people who are Snakes or Monkeys, this is the year to find a drawing or picture of a pig, a small figuring of a pig, a woodblock, a poster, a piggy bank.  You may find a keychain with a pig on it.  I saw pencils a few da ys ago with a little pig head attached where the eraser should be.  Although I’m not challenged by the Tiger this year, I figure taking precautions wouldn’t hurt.  I’ve had my eye out for a way to bring pig inspiration into my life, and just couldn’t find the right thing.  This past week Macy’s provided the perfect answer.  I am confident that I will be amply protected by not just one pig, but two.  Yes, this is going to be a great year!

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Pigs and Tigers and Macys, Oh My!

This week a past client contacted me verifying some suggestions I made to her in order to improve her work situation.  Despite the Feng Shui adjustments she had made, she lost her job anyway and was understandably upset.  Of course, she was wondering if she had done somethign wrong, so we went through my suggestions and she outlined how she had carried them out.  She did each one correctly and with a lot of intention—-yet still lost her job. This seems to be an issue that a lot of people are dealing with.  One of my students is getting desperate because her husband lost his job a few months ago and can’t secure another one, despite her Feng Shui adjustments at home.  Another student described a similar situation in one of her practice appointments:  she advised a friend on how she could maintain her job using Feng Shui.  The next week—the friend was down-sized.  How indeed do we explain this?  I’m reminded of one of my first appointments back in 1992. Doris was a few years away from retirement.  She hated her job but felt she didn’t dare quit for she was sure no one would hire her due to her age (this was before it was illegal to ask about age during an interview).  I gave her some specific Feng Shui ideas for improving her entryway where her Career area was located in an attempt to improve the remainder of her time at this deplorable place.  She got right on it.  In the midst of the project, she lost her job.  The business was down-sizing and, regrettably, they had to release her.  Doris very clearly let me know that Feng Shui had ruined her life and, if I was smart at all, I’d burn all my Feng Shui books, notes, and ideas, and never talk about it again. For the next few weeks I’m not sure who agonized more—-Doris or me.  Then one day she called.  It seems a few years prior, she had inquired about working at another company.  It was a start-up business but she believed in their product and was desperate even back then to leave her current position.  However, they didn’t have the budget to meet her salary requirements, so she stayed at the job she hated.  After she was fired, Doris made some phone calls, one of which was to this company.  In the last few years, they had grown and expanded and were delighted that she was available.  Furthermore, they had the budget to fulfill her salary needs.  Within ten days of being fired, Doris was back to work.  She was calling to thank me!  Had she not been fired, she wouldn’t now be in the perfect job where she was thriving and was appreciated.  She hoped I hadn’t destroyed everything because she was quite sure Feng Shui had arranged this synchronistic occurrence.  So, although it may seem as though their steps are taking them in the opposite direction from where someone wants to go, it may only be a small retreat in order to advance ahead with greater momentum.  Although very difficult to do, someone who has lost their job cannot afford to invest their time or emotions in the negative side, but rather must look forward to the new adventure ahead, confident that on some level Feng Shui is doing its work.

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Job Security: Feng Shui Help—-or Not?

A recent question that has come my way deals with roommates.  In this particular case, a woman contacted me who was living with her brother.  They share the common areas of the home (kitchen, living room, etc.) but they each have their own bedroom.  Marie Louise’s question was whether she could do Feng Shui in her bedroom only, eliminating the need to include her brother in any Feng Shui adjustments she may want to make.  She knew he would not be interested nor support any changes she may implement in the areas they shared.  More importantly her question was, if she instigated some specific Feng Shui changes in just her room, would they work just as well or would they fall short. In evaluating the various layers of the home (whole house, individual rooms, bed, desk, etc.), I have found that a pattern will usually show up.  As an example, if someone is having a financial problem, I may find a bathroom sink that leaks in the specific Wealth area of the home (back left corner).  I may see a broken chair sitting in the Wealth area of the office; a waste basket in the Wealth area of the bedroom; a missing area in the Wealth area of the dining room; a dead plant in the Wealth area of the desk.  A repetitive pattern is occurring (in this case a negative pattern) in the same area in an ever-decreasing size—-a fractal phenomenon is taking place. By changing even the smallest of these patterns, it can influence the whole in a positive way.  Since Marie Louise doesn’t have sole responsibility for the entire house, but instead shareS it with her brother, her bedroom is the best place for her to implement Feng Shui.  So although she may contain her Feng Shui activities to the parameters of her room, which will certainly impact her in a strong and personal way, those changes may also impact the rest of the space in a  subtler, less overt way—-the fractal of her bedroom may influence the whole house. To address her other concern about whether Feng Shui will be effective in just her bedroom, the answer is that it will be extremely effective.  The closer/smaller these fractals become, the stronger their impact on the person.  Whether the entire home gets involved or not, Marie Louise will most definitely feel a dramatic shift in her own personal space and in her own life.

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Fractal Feng Shui

BIRTHING A HOME

Now and again I get to facilitate a Feng Shui appointment with someone who is building a brand new home.  Sometimes they even are actively designing it.  This is a great time to infuse the space with the owners’ intentions and to uncover the kind of energy the house is bringing with it.  The earlier this process can get underway, the better.  In fact, it’s best to start before the house has even made its appearance.

Walking the property helps the future occupants claim the real estate in more ways than just through a purchase agreement.  It provides an opportunity “read” the land without the influence of the structure.  Getting acquainted with the topography and the trees gives the landowners the a chance to anticipate features and to visualize how the house will fit in.  By doing this, they will also be able to predict things like the view from the bedroom window, which trees will provide shade, and where the swing should go.  They establish a familiar sense of “home” before they live there, before there is even a house.

I suggest people make these land visits as often as possible—-at least twice a week.  They will get used to the roads that take them to their new place; they learn the route and may even find short-cuts.  Kinesthetically, their bodies find the way home.  They will also locate grocery stores and drug stores, the post office and the nearest veterinarian—-convenient services required as part of a typical lifestyle.

On sunny, warm days, why not bring a picnic and have lunch where the kitchen will eventually be.  Or why not sit on the ground and talk where the family room will soon be located.  In a relaxed, receptive state, the new owners may get a multitide of ideas about what their life is going to be like.  They may well get information from the land and from the future home that could determine some of their siting decisions and design choices.  When it comes time to move in, these frequent visits will make it seem as though the owners are simply coming home since everything will be recognizable, identifiable, and expected.

My husband shared with me that as a young man he had the opportunity to build a home from scratch.  He purchased the land and spent six months designing and planning the house.  He enoyed many hours on the land, imagining the house in various spots, checking the tree locations, and considering the sun’s position.  He became so connected to the space that he even dreamed about his new home.

The day after the contractor dug the hole, my husband paid another visit to the land and, as he was walking toward the property, “saw” his house in completed form right in front of his eyes.  Seeing the energetic outline of his dream home made him understand that already it was alive and was taking on its own presence, even though it hadn’t been built yet.  He always loved that home and to this day speaks fondly of it.  Unfortunately, circumstances required him to move away after only a few years of enjoyment.

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Excerpt from new book – House Alive

An email came in from a follower asking for Feng Shui help in finding a new job after she had been laid off.  Her request was on the heels of two dear friends who likewise told me they had been down-sized or out-sourced.  The interesting part to me about this is that all three women intuitively started de-cluttering.  Their motivation for doing so wasn’t Feng Shui-driven but more a way to keep busy and to do something productive.  However, Feng Shui is very explicit that if you want to make a change in your life, then make a change in your space.  De-cluttering is a very effective way to lighten the load and get rid of anything that may be holding you back.  While working full-time, understandably none of them had the time to go through boxes and dresses drawers.  Now they do—and they are.

I applaud their efforts and cheer them on to do more de-cluttering, however just throwing things out or giving them away isn’t enough.  There’s an important step that I call the “thank and throw” process that can make a huge difference in outcome.  At one time all this accumulation was important and valued.  Just because it no longer serves a purpose, that fact should not diminish its original significance.  So, ladies, be grateful for all that you have and all that you’re about to not have.

Although de-cluttering doesn’t have to be site-specific, there is an area that would benefit the most during this job crisis and that is the career section of their home.  In fact, there are two areas that are important at a time like this:  the career area of the home based on the bagua and the career area based on the compass.  More than likely these two areas will not be in the same place.  Due to the fact there are two Feng Shui perspectives, there are moments when someone can take advantage of both.  The career based on the bagua is the front middle section of the home or apartment; the career area based on the compass is in the north section of the space. 

I encourage you, fearless ladies, to take that “thank and throw” energy to both places and micro-manage:  de-clutter, clean, re-arrange, re-paint, improve in some way.  Additionally, hang or place a small round mirror in each of the career sections to ramp up the energy further.  Let it symbolize the reflection of a new job for each of you. 

As a disclaimer, let me say that de-cluttering and putting up mirrors does not replace networking, sending out resumes, and having interviews.  But let me also say, the practical always works better, faster, and easier when Feng Shui is pushing from behind.

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Feng Shui Help for a New Job

Last weekend my husband and I were invited to a friend’s home for dinner.  Being Israeli, she introduced us to some of her family’s traditional dishes and, as an added benefit, offered some great Feng Shui principles without realizing it.

Not being one who finds a whole heck of a lot of creative release from cooking food, I learned so much from just watching our hostess move around the kitchen.  She glided from counter to fridge to stove-top and back to counter like the dancer she is—-all the while patiently explaining what she was preparing and why.  It was obvious from this beautiful choreography that our food was being cooked with love, care, and a heap of intention.  My own kitchen “dance” is more of a thrashing and flailing variety, so this was nice to see as an option.

Along the way, she explained that the start of a typical Israeli meal includes something tart, something round, something neutral tasting.  The meat is always kosher; the conversation always meaningful; and time is never an issue.  Despite our loud concerns about the late hour, at the end of the meal our hostess began making Turkish coffee, assuring us that, despite its high caffeine content, it would not disturb our sleep later.

I learned that any sharp knives used during the preparation of the food were not to be left lying around after their use.  Their energy was potentially dangerous, which could damage or contaminate any of the other food.  She carefully removed the knife she had been using to cut the lamb before dishing up the rice—-removed, as in placing it on a different counter, not just shoving it to the side.

I also learned that food should only be stirred in one direction—-clockwise or counter-clockwise doesn’t matter, just one direction.  The reason is to keep the food balanced and undisturbed, and therefore easier to digest.  I couldn’t help but wonder about the benefits of scrambled eggs.  She told us this as she was stirring our Turkish coffee.

Although she knows very little about it, our gracious hostess modeled quintessential Feng Shui with her thoughtful and deliberate actions.  Every detail was carefully planned; every dish was specifically prepared to complete the entire experience.  At the end of the evening, imagine our surprise discovering we had been sitting at her table for over four hours.  But the final surprise came the next morning when we realized the Turkish coffee had not prevented us from having a good night’s sleep.  It must indeed be all in the stirring.

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Stirring the Pot with Feng Shui Style

Most of the questions I address during the course of a week come from people wanting to know more about Feng Shui and how to integrate some of its principles into their own specific setting—-aka, free advice.  I don’t mind people asking for advice and am very direct about when someone needs to hire me or another consultant to assess the situation.  This week, however, I had three questions/laments/complaints from students about appointments they were trying to facilitate with frustrating results.

So, I offer the list below to those who are thinking of having a Feng Shui appointment in the near future. I assure you that if your consultant is happy, the appointment will be a great success!

1.  Be home or at your office at the agreed-upon time.  It’s frustrating to drive across town to find that you have forgotten their Feng Shui appointment or you let it be pre-empted by another engagement.  Check your calendar.

2.  Keep distractions and interruptions to a minimum.  I know there are times when a baby-sitter just doesn’t show up, but Plan B should be in place.  It’s also best to let voice mail answer the phone while you’re in the middle of your appointment.

3.  A Feng Shui appointment can be a private and personal experience.  Inviting friends over to watch while your consultant is trying to give you advice may not only be distracting but could prevent you from getting the best appointment you could have.  You may not want to admit or talk about certain issues in front of the whole world, eliminating the chance of getting some good, sound advice.

4.  Find that blueprint—-or make one.  It is very, very difficult for a Feng Shui appointment to have any relevance if you didn’t find a copy of the floor plan or didn’t take the time to make a scaled drawing.  Most consultants won’t even go to the appointment if they haven’t received it prior to the scheduled time, so a lot hinges on that drawing.

5.  Take notes during the appointment.  Unless you’ve pre-arranged with your consultant that he/she will send you a written report after the consultation, be prepared with pen and paper to take notes. 

6.  Try not to cancel at the last minute.  I know the flu hits at the last minute and emergencies do come up, but to cancel the morning of your appointment just because you think your new sofa is going to be delivered or because the stars aren’t quite aligned doesn’t speak highly of your commitment.

Although these items may seem rudimentary and obvious, it is surprising how often one or more are totally ignored. Most everyone who has had a thorough and focused Feng Shui appointment will agree that it can change your life.  I can assure you, you don’t want to miss out on that possibility.

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Getting the Most Out of a Feng Shui Appointment

The year 2010 begins on February 14 and will be represented by the tiger—-a metal tiger to be specific.  The tiger naturally holds wood energy based on the concept of the traveling stars (Chinese zodiac); the year according to the Taoist calendar is a metal one.  Without going into the details of the Chinese 5 Elements, let me point out that when metal and wood try to team up, metal has a definite advantage.  Metal represents a weapon such as a sword or gun and the tiger represents the fresh wood of springtime—-no match for a metal weapon.  This is a combination that is definitely in conflict.

Based on this, 2010 will not be a peaceful one, according to Raymond Lo, international Feng Shui master.  Although we will see some economic recovery from the turbulence of 2009, there will be more international disagreements, more clashing and more fighting.  The metal energy is a destructive weapon.  Since most of us aren’t in a position to actively intervene in these world-wide affairs to facilitate peace, my best advice is to try to influence your immediate world, bringing peace to the planet in your own home.  Here are some ways to maximize your luck next year, to minimize the challenges, and to bring about some global peace as well:

1.  Bless your home.  Your home is your part of the planet that you can impact and inspire.  Take a few moments to appreciate and honor it by walking through with a candle, incense, or just your heart-felt intentions.  Heal your own internal wars.

2.  Deal with your clutter. You know where it lurks—-get rid of it.  It does not create peace in your space.

3.  Do good deeds.  Do one good deed a day to offset the global turbulence.

4.  Put a pig in a blanket.  According to Chinese zodiac tradition, the tiger and the pig are best friends.  In order to keep the tiger on your side and to diminish the negative influences of what could be a challenging year, carry a picture or a small figurine of a pig who will intercede on your behalf (blanket optional).

5.  Line up 5 friends.  Think of five people—dead or alive, real or legendary, human or deity—who would be your friends in time of need.  Get them lined up in your mind before you actually need them so that you take the time to carefully and thoughtfully make your selection.  Then, when a crisis hits, you’ll be prepared.  You can call on them either literally or in an energetic way.

No matter what animal sign you may be in the Chinese zodiac system, following any or all of the above suggestions will help you navigate through any difficulties you may encounter.

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Feng Shui Preparations for 2010