My mother, Rose, painting with Dementia

My mom is back at Sunrise Assisted Living and is thrilled to be back home. The only problem she has been facing currently, is that she is now what they call, “a fall risk”. In fact, since she returned home from rehab at Fox Run, she has fallen four times. This means that her level of care is going up and so will her monthly costs. I have a dilemma to deal with. Since my mother has a long term care policy that pays $90/day for an assisted living facility and $150/day for a skilled care facilitity, my question is: Should I move mom to a skilled facility and collect the extra $60/day benefit or $1800/month for her, or do I use her savings to make up the difference in rent?

Sunrise is not considered a Skilled Care Facility, so the most my mother can receive from her policy is 60% of her monthly $150/day benefit. If she were to move to a Skilled Care Facility like Fox Run (owned by Erikson), for example, she could receive the $150/day. Another issue: Fox Run also requires a $100,000 deposit to move in. Not all facilities do this, however, the deposit is returned to the resident when they leave, OR to their estate when they died. Plus there is an added benefit. The resident will never be forced to leave because they run out of money. Once the deposit is used up, the facility takes care of their expenses.

There is a lot to consider, right? My mom spent three weeks at Fox Run in rehabilitation and what I found is they are an excellent medical model facility. The care, however, is totally different than where she currently lives. Fox Run provides a “Medical Model” of care and Sunrise follows a “Social Model”. While my mom was at Fox Run, she was bored and spent all her time in her bed sleeping. Now that I have brought her home to Sunrise, she has spent her days dressed, socializing and very active. We both like the model so much better.

Be sure to consider this when you are looking for a long term care facility for your loved one. It’s amazing not only how many choices there are, but also how the type of facility you select can affect your long term care policy. Let me explain.

When my step father was diagnosed with lung cancer and my mother with Dementia in the fall of 2005, they moved from their private home to an “Independent Retirement Community”. Here they had a two bedroom apartment and even though they had a kitchen in their apartment, lunch and dinners were provided in a beautiful formal dining room with the other residents. When my father became very ill, the facility actually managed the medications and helped with custodial care for an additional fee. He paid for his expenses out of pocket, and then applied to his long term care policy for some small “home care benefits” that the policy provided.

While they were living in an “Independent Living Facility”, my mother was diagnosed with Dementia and qualified for benefits under her long term care policy. The problem we found out was that Independence Village was neither an Assisted Living Facility or Skilled Care Facility even though they had full time nursing staff. It actually had something to do with the construction of the building!

At this point, although my step-father qualified for his long term care benefits, we would have had to move him a new facility to collect his long term care policy benefits. We decided that peace of mind (staying in place) was more important that collecting insurance benefits during his final nine months of life. Had we known about this issue in advance, we would have selected another facility that offered multiple levels of care. This is a good thing to consider before selecting a facility when you own a long term care policy.

So when my step-father passed away, I moved mom to my house temporarily and began to look for a long term care facility that would work best for her situation. This is when we chose Sunrise. The West Bloomfield Facility was just 10 minutes away and she woudl have a wonderful studio apartment, three meals a day and lots of social activities. Her policy would pay 60% of her long term care policy daily benefit which was $150/day.

So this is where mom stands today: She is moving to another wing of Sunrise where they offer a much higher level of care AND she will not be in a nursing home envirnoment. Instead, she will remain very active and spend her days with the other residents in a “home style” area and just go to her room to nap or sleep at night.

Her rent, however will jump from $4800/month to $6330/month. Again, I can collect another $1800/month for her by moving to a Skilled Nursing Facility, but she would be back to the Medical Model. I have decided to run a financial time line to compare the difference between moving and staying to see how long her money will last both ways. And I have also put her on a list to move to the first semi private room when it becomes available. This will save her around $1200/month.

So the question is would you rather be in a Medical Model Skilled Cafe Facility collecting $150/day benefit (probably still in a shared room), or would you rather be in a very large “studio apartment” style shared room in a Social Model Facility for $600 more per month? My choice is the social model. We will start out paying around $6000/month initially for a private room, and then around $5000/month as soon as a semi private room is available. This sounds like a reasonable solution.

My mother is very fortunate. Because she and my step-father came to me for financial planning right after they were married 20 years ago, they were able to do a financial and estate plan when many options were available and insurance costs wereaffordable.

My mother’s long term care policy premium at age 58 (20 years ago) was under $100/month for a lifetime benefit period, and with an inflation rider (so her policy benefit would increase every year by 4%). If she had waited until she was 70 to purchase the policy, it would have been too expensive and she would have been uninsurable.

The secret is starting to plan as early as possible…beginning with our own planning….and realizing that no matter what your situtuation is today, there is always an appropriate plan of action. The key is finding a caring and knowledgeable advisor to help you through the process.

I would like to hear your experiences. Feel free to share them with us. If you are interested in help with these types of questions and situations, email me at katana@designateddaughter.com or call me at 248-366-0137. Either I or one of our Contributing Experts will be able to help you with your situation. Also, be sure to sign up for my Caregiver’s Manual right here on the website. It’s a great tool for helping you prepare for this entire process.

Posted in Aging Parents

Posted by:  Author and probate attorney Andrew W. Mayoras, co-author of Trial & Heirs:  Famous Fortune Fights! and co-founder and shareholder of The Center for Probate Litigation and The Center for Elder Law in metro-Detroit, Michigan, which concentrate in probate litigation, estate planning, and elder law.  You can email him at blog @ trialandheirs.com.

We recently asked you, “What’s the single biggest Challenge holding you back from living Your Perfect Life?” and this is what over 200 of you have told us:

• 32% Financial

• 22% Don’t Know Where to Start

• 12% Confidence

• 10% Time

• 7% Relationships

• 3% Health

• 14% Other

There were quite a few comments (one out of four of you wanted to tell your story) and here are a few of them:

• I am searching for a new career and desperately want to make that change now that I am unemployed and available to make that change.

• I need to make enough money through my business to negate my husband’s dream for me to go back to work!

• Up until I lost my job in 2007 I considered myself a “smart woman”, although finances are considerably low, my biggest challenge is how to tap into a realm of creativity. It seems I have lost my passion and/or motivation to get going again.

• After 23 years of raising my sons, getting my masters, and working 19 years with autistic children, I am ready to make my own dreams and business happen. I read your steps to success and go strong, but then burn myself out with energy and money by second guessing everything I do. If I had a mentor to help with decisions, ideas, marketing, and business, it would make my finances, time, and confidence become assets to my dreams and realities.

• My biggest challenge is self-sabotage and pragmatism. I focus more on perfection rather than “just doing it.”

• I have an amazing business that I can’t focus on doing because I work a 9-5 during the day!

• Not enough time in the day to act on all my ideas… even the prioritized ones.

• I often don’t feel I can do it. My perfect life involves starting a jewelry business and then moving to NM to live on a ranch.

• Life transitions in 2004 left me at ground zero with no savings, property, pension, home or other resources. I know where I want to be and what my goals are but need support, help and resources to get there because I cannot do it alone.

• Difficulties with family relationships and life transitions – Lack of Clarity, support and finances hold me back. I have been trying for a year, but nothing seems to be shifting. I do not do well without human live support i.e. online courses/business building or network marketing.

• I know that my life does not have to be as hectic as it is. I am looking to learn to let go, and focus on what is most important!

What I am hearing from you is that finances or money and then knowing where to start are your number one priorities. I read the “other” comments, and they were primarily financial and knowing where to start as well. So, what do you do about this? This is exactly why I created the Smart Women’s Café.

When I was a financial planner, I worked with hundreds of wealthy individuals. I had no time left to help those who needed help getting started and creating financial security.Today, I am honored to have attracted some of the most amazing financial, business, career, and lifestyle experts in the word to join me in this mission of helping women create their perfect life with purpose, passion and prosperity.

The Smart Women’s Café is the perfect place to do this because it is a supportive and interactive community where women can learn, grow and connect by accessing resources at their own leisure in the member library. Plus, we offer three hours of live coaching and training every month.

These statistics were not that surprising to see. Right now, the need for financial planning assistance, whether it be in the small-business environment, schooling or household maintenance has sky-rocketed as a direct result of our economy. You are not alone. 33% of American’s carry debt balances up to $10,000 (median balance: $2,254). 64% of the people polled who carry debt admitted that debt is a cause of worry and stress for them. 93% percent of retirees carry debt into old age.

Finance troubles affects your path to the Perfect Life everyday. These worries can cause a ripple effect on everything else, which may have caused 22% percent of people surveyed to respond with, “not knowing where to start.”

Vist the Smart Women’s Cafe now to receive your Free Gifts:  Video Training on how to maximize Twitter and Brian Tracy’s Report, The Way to Wealth ($100 value).  You can also take a 30 day free test drive of our community of smart women and access free, live coaching, resources and support towards living with Purpose, Passion and Prosperity.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to our poll! Sharing your thoughts with us was great appreciated. A national press release will be released this week, documenting your concerns.

What are you doing to live with more purpose, passion and prosperity and how can you tie this into making a difference in the world that you live in?  Good question, eh?  Well, this must just be part of my DNA, because ever since I was a small child, I have been doing some sort of fundraising, helping the less fortunate and following my passion. 

Learning to give back:  As a young girl, I attended a four room parochial school where we were constantly asked to go door to door selling things like Texas fruit cakes, boxes of Florida oranges, candy and even zip code books.  My mother was the mastermind behind all of this.  When we were asked to sell zip code books, for example, my mother took me to each of the local businesses in town, and had me introduce myself as, “Wiley Galbraith’s granddaughter.”  My grandfather was the manager of the local bank in town, so this carried a lot of clout.  Also, since businesses new they would soon need to be using zip codes, I ended up selling more than everyone else in the school combined.  I still remember getting up on the stage to collect first prize which was a clock radio!  This was back in the early 70s, so a clock radio was very cool.

School of lifelong learning:  In addition to selling things, I also went door to door every holiday collecting “holiday dollars” for the poor and the needy.  I was like the “Kirby Vacuum Salesperson”.  My mom would drop my friend Brenda and me off at one end of the street and allow us to canvas the entire street with my brothers doing the opposite side of the street.  This was during a Michigan winter where it was dark, cold and snowy.  I had lots of doors shut in my face, many who would peek out and not even answer the door, but many more who gladly gave me a dollar.  In fact, one man actually gave me a $20 bill once!  This one experience had a huge impace on my future confidence when I really needed to “stretch”.  For years, I would come back to the church with at least $100 for the evening’s work.  This is just one way that I learned to make a difference as a child. 

Volunteering:   Another way was after church on Saturday (I was raised Seventh Day Adventist) we would go to nursing homes or to visit “shut-ins”.   Shut-ins were normally members of the church who did not have family and were unable to get out of the house anymore.  For years, I remember going to visit Nettie Harp, Mrs. Little and Fidelle offering to help them with chores like cleaning house, gardening, laundry and cooking.

What does all of this have to do with Living on Purpose while Making a Difference?  For me it has everything to do with it.  All my early childhood experiences have given me the tools to do what I need to accomplish during this lifetime–My Life Mission.  It’s just up to me to take those experiences and take action today. 

What I learned as a child:

• helped me strive to do my best
• gave me the confidence to take risks
• to handle rejection
• and to enjoy helping others.  

In all my jobs, I tied these experiences and passions of helping others and making a difference into my work.  I believe this is what helped me to become successful, and also helped me to move on to the next level when the time was right.

Living with Purpose and Passion means you are living authentically within your values system.  When you can tie your values and passions into the way you generate income you not only will enjoy your work much more, but most of the time, you will end up earning more money because the energy you are sending out will be very positive, and in return, you will attract abundance back into your life.

What are you doing in your life today that allows you to live with passion, follow your purpose, attract abundance while giving back?  Let me give you some examples:

• Help someone else and by utilizing a long lost hobby:  (My mother is an artist, and had stopped painting after being diagnosed with dementia…I used to paint 25 years ago before my daughters were born.)  I started painting with her on Sundays at my home, and guess what?  I found I was a wonderful artist too and I found absolute join in painting AND spending more time with my mom.  I found my passion, by helping her!
  

  My first painting with mom!

• Find out how to tie your passion into what you do for a living:  After 20 years as a Certified Financial Planner, I felt a tugging to create new programs for women in transition, but was hampered by compliance and SEC regulations.  I was able to walk through my fear of “losing my financial security” to start Smart Women’s Coaching where I could write, create and lead programs specifically for helping women live with more purpose, passion AND prosperity.  As a financial planner, I could only help people who were already wealthy…now I could help people learn how to create wealth based on their purpose, while following their passions.
• Take a painful experience and use that experience to help others:  During the first 20 years of my life, I experienced my fathers death at six years old, saw my mother struggle as a widow and then marry an abusive husband who left her homeless with cancer.  I then married at 19 and found myself abused and in the hospital.  These experiences helped me not only become a much better financial planner, but inspired me to start a foundation to help disadvantaged women and girls.  It’s called, Smart Women Empowerment and we have partnered with the HAVEN, a domestic violence shelter, to coach four women this next year.
• Make a committment to yourself and others:  I married a Detroit Symphony French Horn Player, and love classical music .  To ensure I make time to go to concerts, I purchase season tickets with two of my former financial planning clients who are widows.  We all win!  Beth who is 90 could not attend if I did not drive, I share her wonderful box seats that she has had for decades, we have a blast sharing stories on our drive to and from the concert, they are mentors to me by sharing their life lessons. 
  

  Beth, Katana and Amal at DSO concert

Spend some time thinking about ways you can bring more joy into your life and the life of others.  You may end up with some very pleasant surprises just like have.  Tell me, what are you doing to live with more purpose, passion and prosperity while making a difference in the world?

As a woman that specializes in finance, I find answers in numbers. To me, statistics can say a lot about an issue. So this month’s theme, Making a Difference: A Smarter Approach to Philanthropy, made me question how many people in America contribute to the greater good. My findings pleasantly surprised me. According to the “Giving and Volunteering in the United States Survey,” 89 percent of households give on an annual basis. Actually, the average annual contribution for contributors was $1,620 in 2008.

How do you give back to your community? What kinds of emotions are evoked when one is charitable? The interesting thing is, happiness and giving are directly related to each other. One of the longest-running social-science studies on happiness began in the 1920s, in Oakland, California. An astonishing 90 percent of the 200 studied have stayed participating in the survey, offering insight into what exactly a “happy life” is. According to psychologist and researcher Paul wink, one of the MAIN elements is generativity, the ability to give to others.

I have found this to be true, through my career, into retirement and now in my personal life. That’s why when I created the Smart Women’s Café, I didn’t just want to create a business. I wanted to create a resource of aid to a community of women that have nowhere else to turn. August’s fundraiser to support the organization HAVEN was a success. We presented HAVEN with $1,000 and we will soon award four women a $1,500 scholarship each, along with the support of a life coach for one year, free of cost.

International charities are a wonderful option too. Just this past Tuesday I interviewed Humanitarian and Founder of Village Empowerment, Don Smith, on Smart Women Talk Radio. Don’s mission is to help solve the problems of starvation and crime in the poorest regions of Africa. Food shortages occur on a very constant annual basis, predominately in September and October, according to Don. If you’d like to donate or learn more about Village Empowerment, please visit www.VillageEmpowerment.org. Stay tuned to this month’s weekly newsletters  (click the hyperlink to be added to our mailing list) to find out different ways on how YOU can help.

If you’re interested in travel, the Smart Women’s Coaching program and Gutsy Women Travel are joining forces to bring you a 9-day retreat to Costa Rica in January! Scroll down to read more about it!

Please tell me what are you doing to tie your purpose to your passion and prosperity?  Thank you!

Read more here:
Making a Difference: A Smarter Approach to Philanthropy

Costa Rica is a passion of mine.  In fact, I have visited six times and plan to live in there in the next few years!  Because of the healthy lifestyle, fresh, vine ripened fruit, mineral rich water, lifetime physical work and sense of purpose, Costa Rica is home of one of the few Blue Zones in the world known for it’s high number of centenarians.

You are invited to join me in Costa Rica this January since I am traveling with Gutsy Women Travel January 17th for 9 days in Pura Vida (the Pure Life)!  The trip they have put together looks wonderful.  We will be going to several places I have already visited and several that will be new to me, like the snorkeling in Tortuga Island!  I cannot wait to return to the hot springs spas of Tabacon near the Arenal Vocano.  Here you will experience soaking in hot natural spas in an exotic garden setting.  Imagine having a steaming hot waterfall massaging your back while relaxing in a jungle setting.  It’s amazing!

While here in the rain forest, I will lead a group to experience the most amazing zip lines near the resort.  These are the most amazing zip lines I have ever experienced.  Imagine flying hundreds of feet above the canapy of the rain forest.  It’s totally exelorating.  I used to have a fear of heights, but no more!  It looks very scary, but after your first time, you too will be a fan!

I believe in taking time to rejuvinate and what better place to do this.  I hope you can join me in Pura Vida this January!  Here is some details about our trip:

Join Gutsy Women Travel’s Costa Rican Traditions trip and find out for yourself why it was voted the “Happiest Country on the Planet.”  Costa Rica is a peaceful and prosperous country that is internationally recognized for its ecological and environmental mindfulness as well as its warm hospitality, majestic landscapes, colorful wildlife and vibrant culture.

 Our 9-day tour starts in San Jose on January 16 and weaves through lush rainforest, virgin cloud forest, two active volcanoes, working coffee and sugar plantations and the world’s largest butterfly garden.  There will be endless opportunities for viewing wildlife and plant life – many of the species only found here – as you venture through one of the most bio-diverse regions of the world.